I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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