**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize