Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
