That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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