So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize