He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you didnt know i had herpes?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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