All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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