Buhtt sex?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
