Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
