i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
