Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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