The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
foreskin is a definite game changer
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
