when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
