My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
