How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
