I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
