Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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