tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
