Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
