As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Randomize
