It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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