i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Sacagawea was the original milf.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
