Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize