No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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