Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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