im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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