is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
