So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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