So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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