she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
