More tranny stories later!
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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