I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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