Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
