she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
My vagina is officially offended.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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