There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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