we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
