i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
