ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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