lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
