when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Randomize
