We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
