From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
