my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
