I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
