hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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