i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
