she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
wow bdsm is so cute
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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