...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
