The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you didnt know i had herpes?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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