But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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