Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
