the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
