I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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