She's JV to your varsity
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize