I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
She is in my trunk
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
