OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
