sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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