Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
