i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I booty called her while she was in labor.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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