He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
