Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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