I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
