I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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