Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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