Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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