im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
