and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
