She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
