Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
