we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
