I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize