google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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