dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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